Thursday, October 6, 2011

How to Survive on Survivor: Guide From a Wanna-Be

Palm trees
Does it ever seem to you that the Survivor contestants haven't really watched Survivor? They seem to play the same game over and over again: Choose a leader, keep them around, lie a lot, irritate people, be unprepared for challenges... We watch it play out every season. As a fan and wanna-be contestant, I have come up with a short list of tips for surviving on Survivor:
  •  Never, ever tell anyone if you find the immunity idol. Why do so many people seem to think telling will benefit them? Keep it to yourself.
  • Never, ever show open hostility to or about a fellow tribe member.
  • Train hard before going on the show: Speed. Balance. Endurance. Strength.
  • Expect to be lied to and don't take it personally. It is a game and the prize is one million dollars...
  • Avoid lying. Change the subject, redirect, use phrases like: I can't talk about something I know nothing about" and "Are you sure that is where our focus should be?" and cast small, indicative glances to put the attention somewhere else.
  • Start making a plan to get the strongest players out the moment they are identified. This season: Ozzy and Coach (Why all the returnees????)









  • Be useful around the camp, but don't be bossy.
  • Don't make a promise you won't keep. Avoid making promises, but if you do, follow through on them.
  • Be friendly to the other team. After a merge, it will be harder to vote you off as an outsider if they like you. 
  • Be humble. Don't show your strongest self until you need it.
  • Disregard the above and follow The 48 Laws of Power. I am highly suspicious that Boston Rob read and took Robert Greene's book to heart. It worked!

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